At risk of leading off on too strong of an offensive foot, I am gay, I live in New York City, and I am a professing Christian. This cacophony of circumstances colour my life in the best, and worst of ways- especially this past week. Yes, this is yet another article discussing the Supreme Court decision to legalise gay marriage, effectively creating long awaited “equality”. Bombarded with texts of victory and joy over the decision, friends who knew of my struggle eagerly awaited my response, expecting that I would somehow be overjoyed at the sight of victory for struggling homosexuals. They wanted a flagpole or some sort of leader of Christians in support of the decision, as if I were a bridge to connect the two worlds in harmony. What they weren't expecting is my actual response.
Dismay.
Dismay and sadness. Dismay at the fact that yet again, I feel more marginalised and ostracised than ever before. Sadness at the fact that in the wake of what is seen to be the greatest triumph of civil rights since the 60’s, we still managed to ignore the largest group of people in the United States. There is a delusion that this new civil rights awakening came without violence but with love and endurance and acceptance. I have no eloquent words here, or politically correct term to say how bad this is.
Just read the statements laid out by Justice Anthony Kennedy.
“Marriage,” Anthony Kennedy writes, “responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there.” He goes on to say, “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family.”
At face value, these encouraging words can lift even the heaviest of battled hearts to joy. Resounding like trumpets from the helm of justice, these words will ring through the earth! Rejoice! The inherent problem here with such a floral statement is that it denies the largest demographic of people in the US, or at least NYC…singles.
According to the Supreme Court, I cannot embody ideals of love or fidelity or devotion. I am not sacrificial in my love and I have no family. According to their definition of the altar that is marriage, I am selfish and have no idea what it means to serve or be loved a part of a family. Never mind that I have a beautiful community of friends that deeply love me and care for me and call me. Never mind the years of sacrifice and work poured out in working with refugees. Forget the fact that I am devoted deeply to my friends and family and my faith.
Never mind how I decided, of my own accord, to be so in love with Christ and his law and love and mercy, that I saw my desire to be with another man secondary to that. It’s half-hearted offensive ideologies like people’s current view of marriage both in the church and on a secular level leave singles to feel like lepers. People who need to be healed.
So what did we win? Has love become synonymous with status?
Yet no one parades in my honour. I have no designated colours or benefits. What do I get for my decision to stay single? Higher taxes. I lose not only a massive support from confused brothers and sisters in my faith, but also from my own government.
Doesn’t seem very equal to me.
-Anonymous